this setup is…

and useless, of course.

to question

“What we need to question is bricks, concrete, glass, our table manners, our utensils, our tools, the way we spend our time, our rhythms. To question that which seems to have ceased forever to astonish us. We live, true, we breathe, true; we walk, we open doors, we go down staircases, we sit at a table in order to eat, we lie down on a bed in order to sleep. How? Why? Where? When? Why?”

- Georges Perec

the lull

The quiet contentedness of this empty room, biting. The coffee stain on the corner, the chipped off paint from the wall, the “ab initio ad infinitum”, the dream catcher, the star chart, the calendar never updated, the freshman map.

I am engulfed in its presence, the simple college life – wake, consume, class, sleep. And the times when it broke from it. Singing in the lounge, a first vote for Hope, random dinners with random people, concerts of unknown bands, four people in one room, the all-niters, sunsets, sunrises, beaches and the food – who can forget the food?

But it’s gone now. The room stripped of all personally but a cover on a bed, a few pillows, and a stack of boxes and bags in the corner.

Sun God

It’s odd how thrilling and exciting a college campus can get during a festival. I suppose it has a lot to do with the general feel of the student body. UCSD has no headlining football team or anything of the sort. Socially, we’re pretty unattractive. So for one day, we were the party school – which was a nice change for a Friday.

But regardless, Friday and night were fun. Now back to academics, I guess.

To quote Wikipedia (hahaha):

“The festival and concert provide an excuse for students on what many consider a socially dead campus to finally let loose following their midterms with binge drinking, psychoactive substance abuse, and public displays of affection.”

Chips

I’ve had chips for the first time in quite a long time and I’ve found, quite surprisingly, they scar the inside of my mouth. Yes, scar. So now, I sit here in the dark with a sore mouth, feeling slightly unhealthy, and all the more with the screwed up sleeping schedule.

I feel rather weak-sauce for having the inside of my mouth scarred by food. BUT WHATEVER – tis the life of those that don’t normally eat such things, eh?

Consequences of Technology

I was browsing through LifeHack in my Google Reader, an online tool which allow reading through multiple RSS feeds, when I came across this article. It poses the question: “Where would you be today without social media tools?”

Now, that got me thinking. It’s amazing how profound, and yet at the same time skewed, of a life is possible with the advent of internet. In such a large way, I feel spoiled by all of this. I type on my blog as if it were nothing, a simple tool that relays information from one user of the internet to the other. Yet, despite this view,  it is the culmination of some software engineers’ dream.

Then to what extent can we really overlook such simple wonders as being able to type a few words, publish, and near instantaneously have others read from all over the world?

It’s so amazing.

Where would we be without these “series of tubes” that practically govern a vast majority of trades of information in our lives? I mean sure, the internet without the social networking would pretty much suck. But without the internet, what would life be?

While the convenience is most certainly present, to what cost can we attribute good to it?

I remember growing up in rural Philippines, near farms and quite a ways from all the luxuries and curses of a big city. I believe that was an amazing way by which to spend the first parts of life; running around fields, playing as children play, truly feeling a deep sense of connectedness to family, friends, and neighbors around me. I fear sooner or later such simple pleasures will not be as prevalent.

And yet, how is the next generation to grow? Will they run around the virtual playground? Pick fights on message boards? Will they take countless pictures of their faces, picking only the ones that look the best? Friend counts as a gauge of personal worth? Update user profiles as a definition of their character?

But maybe they’ll find Wikipedia? I sure as hell would have loved an encyclopedia growing up.

And then I begin wondering how individuals of the past were able to keep contact through great distances and still survive keeping a sense of connectedness with family, friends, and loves.

I mean, sure, it’s easy as hell to send an email or make a call. But a letter takes time to both write, send, and receive. This new age of instantaneous information will strip away a lot of the romanticism of the past. And in that way, I suppose it will create its own. Most certainly it will create its own.

I don’t think I could easily survive without the internet, and that disappoints me at times. Coming from a Computer Science major, that must seem odd.

But still…

I have heard the story of lovers sending letters across great oceans. I’ve yet to hear the story of lovers poking one another on Facebook.

Humanity by…

I looked out my window today and saw another hummingbird. I’m unsure as to the type it was, but I knew its wings moved very quickly. I never quite see hummingbirds fly so high, so it was a rather peculiar sight. I suppose when your niche is lower to the ground, there really isn’t that big of an incentive to fly higher. I wonder if it was more difficult for the hummingbird to be up there. I wonder what drove it upwards.

I found myself walking around rather late at night. I was walking through the grass when I found, to my surprise, a rabbit. Taking in the moment as a welcomed peculiarity, I tried my best not to scare it away. For a few moments, it stared at me and I at it. I stood my ground for a minute or so, and the rabbit did so similarly. I felt sorry for the creature, truthfully. To live your life constantly running away from the large creatures that it felt would do it harm – that is not a life I would wish to live. For it, the middle of the grass must have been a rare occurence, delegated specifically for the night, when no humans were about. I bade it peace and walked around – understanding that simple pleasures as an open field are not so prevalent for others as it was for me.

Yesterday, a person had held open for me a door for a rather long time. With no convenience to the other, the door held open – me walking through, arms filled with drink. The arbitrary kindness of strangers never quite befits the feeling when specified to you. And at such a simple price as a “thank you”.

I fully awoke today feeling horrible. The bittersweet duality in feeling of distance and love can suck so much.

Only twenty until home, and twenty-nine until I realize fully.

Hope

It’s funny how when it seems something to be impossible there are those that simply laugh at the prospect of failure. For example, yet another midterm for tommorow, yet another study group not studying.

Time Traveller

“make: Warning: File ‘HashTable.java’ has modification time .99 s in the future”

Maybe next time you compile – you will have time travelled as well.

Thank you for making my life interesting, Computer Science.

college can be quite unhealthy

Think about it: sleep deprivation, malnutrition, stress.

All for the pursuit of knowledge.

I think it a fair trade.

Ex asperis, scientia. Ex scientia, vera. Veritate, ad astra.